You Saved Me
by JesterChester
Summary: Paige and Emily talk after they see Shana in the Halloween shop, spoilers up until 3x20.


**Sorry I just am having massive Paily feelings right now, just ignore me, and read this.**

"The thought just didn't cross my mind." You confess because god knows that you haven't been thinking very much through lately. You can either focus on school, -A, or Paige and not two at the same time, ever. You wish it could be Paige all the time, because maybe you could've caught onto this whole Shauna thing, but it went over your head and now you feel like you deserve to be thrown in the corner with a _dunce _cap on your head.

A part of you realizes what this all means, a part of you knows that the only reason you overlooked this whole Shauna situation is because you're totally full of yourself, and it feels like the whole world revolves around you. And not even in a selfish snobbish sort of way, but just in the way that –A has killed two people that you've loved, and tried to kill you and everyone else around you, so it just feels like doomsday is constantly on the horizon.

Some girls complain that someone is out to get them. You can take that statement literally and hold on to it forever.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Paige says as if you blamed her for any of this. It was just a misunderstanding, one that you wish you could take back, but you can't. The real issue brings itself to the table as soon as Paige rests her hand on your cheek and you don't have any other option than to look into her eyes. She looks frightened and that's when it all comes crashing down.

You're jealous, jealous that Shauna got to see any part of Paige that you haven't. Jealous of every moment that Paige was spending with her and not you. But that really brings the anger and frustration because you realize that it was all your fault. Why didn't you give Paige a chance sooner? You were once that scared little girl, you were once closeted and terrified of your own skin, but you pretended that you'd grown up into a woman and couldn't wait around for her.

And then Maya came back, and everything seemed to be okay, but you were in different places, you noticed it right away, and you knew that you needed Paige. You knew you wanted her, you've known that for a long time. "No, I swear I'm not blaming you. It's me I'm mad at."

"What? Em, you didn't do anything wrong-."

"I didn't give you a chance, and Shauna was there…she was with you." You didn't realize you were crying until now and this position on your front porch feels eerily familiar, except now Paige is the one holding you and you both have cups of Green Tea instead of Chi. "I sound like an idiot." You confess, even though you meant to keep those words entirely to yourself.

"No you don't." Paige said quickly. "You don't."

"It's just seeing you and that girl interact today was hard. She seemed so possessive, I wanted to smack her, seriously." Paige laughs and pulls you in closer to her before kissing your temple gently.

"Her name is Shauna." She says and you look up at her because, really is she actually going to get into details right now. Wasn't it painstakingly obvious that you didn't like Shauna and you sort of wish she never existed. And if it weren't for –A, who probably knows a way to tap into your brain, you'd probably wish someone terribly awful would happen to her, except you could never bring yourself to truly wish harm on anyone. As much as you hate it, and as much as you've changed, you're still Emily Fields, you're still kindhearted.

"I know Paige." You don't mean to come off annoyed, but if you hear the name Shauna one more time you're going to have to go for a swim in the Atlantic ocean because you need to let off some steam.

"No, but…" She takes a deep breath, looking down like she always does when she is going to say something really important. After months of dating you know for a fact that she only looks you in the eyes when she's being possessive or loving, but when she's being forthcoming she's always looking down at the ground. "Shauna isn't just someone I dated, you're my girlfriend, but that doesn't mean Shauna doesn't mean something to me." You tense up because frankly this isn't something you want to hear, and you realize that Paige knows that, and that's why she's holding onto your hand. "She helped me…a lot. She helped me understand and accept myself, you were brave, and I was too ashamed of who I was to fight for you. So I settled for someone else."

"That night when you showed up on my porch, in the pouring rain…that's when I knew I liked you." In hindsight, you wish you would've told her then. You wish you could've just grabbed her and pulled her instead, kissing her until your body completely ran out of love to give. "And I should've told you."

"It's all in the past." Paige says like she wishes it all could be erased. You know a part of you wants that. Secretly in the depths of your heart, you know things would be drastically different without Ali, Maya, or –A, but you also know it wouldn't be for the better. You and Paige are bounded forever, and that may not have happened otherwise. Maybe you should be thanking Shauna right now.

"Paige?" Your voice is so quiet it hurts. You realize now that you aren't the tough one here, Paige is, and as much as she's credited you with helping her accept yourself, you know you wouldn't be half the person you are, if it weren't for her bravery.

"Yea."

"We haven't talk about that night in a long time." You hate to bring it up, but you just want to put everything out on the table. You promised her that you'd be totally honest, and so you've been vigilant about telling her everything that comes to your mind.

"I know."

"I know you know what I'm going to say, but I have to ask why you did it. Paige, you told me to run when you were left defenseless-."

"And you ran knowing he'd chase after you." Paige's eyes linger on yours until she turns and stares up at the sky. "You saved me." She whispers before standing up and walking down my porch steps. "You saved me." This time it's louder, this time she says it like she knows it's all you've ever wanted to hear. "And it's not the first time. You're what kept me going when I thought my world was falling apart." She confesses.

"Paige you don't have to-." But it's too late, her eyes say the words before they rush from her lips, and you wish you could capture them in a jar and listen to her say those words over and over again for the rest of your life.

"I love you." And in that moment you realize that this is exactly what you were waiting for. Because now it doesn't matter what happens at school, it doesn't matter what sort of hell that –A puts you through because Paige said _I love you_, and she can say it a million times over and each time it'll still mean the same thing.

She's making your heart melt. It feels like one of those stupid Nicolas Sparks movies that Hanna's always watching when you come over, and you're not even ashamed to admit it. You're not even ashamed when the flood of tears come rushing down your face, because your girlfriend just made you the happiest woman alive. "Em, are you okay? Why are you crying?" It's almost humorous how quickly she goes into protective mode, and when she rushes over and holds your face in her hands with a look of worry overcoming her face, you nudge her and laugh through your tears.

"Everything's fine." You assure her. "I just love you too, you dufus." And the kiss on your lips is the sweetest you've ever felt. It's the warmest you've ever been. And you want to be in that moment, you want that moment to reside in your soul, until the day you die.

**I can't wait until 3x20, I'm so excited, are you? As per usual, review and after the episode airs I'm expecting you all to come find me on tumblr (username: Trflashback) so we can talk about everything that happened. **


End file.
